Dear Online Community,
This is Caressa, another year older and another year wiser. I would like to apologize for the extended leave of absence that Daley and I have taken from Two Peas. We have been busy actually doing things and not obsessing over our online presence. However, recent events has inspired me to take up the pen (keyboard) yet again.
Things that are new:
1.Daley and I are still peas, though in a bigger pod, with some other peas.
2. Daley chopped off all her hair and got a rebellious tattoo.
3. I am growing my hair out and got another, socially conforming, tattoo.
3.5 Daley pierced her ears and has worn her retainer every night since returning to SLC
4. Daley is a literary control freak
5. We have stopped buying pies
That is pretty much it.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Promptless Sundays
Today we went to the store to get knitting supplies. Why do we need to knit? Ask Daley.
i want caressa to make a gift for my boyfriend. it's a comical gift.
Its a condom.
she's so subtle. yeah. well it's funny. caressa enjoys knitting condoms. it's kind of her thing. as well as not doing her humanities hw. but that's something we have in common.
I have been doing Humanities slowly throughout the day. The Republic is so long, Socrates was a chatty one. Who need 700 pages to talk about the nature of justice? I could do it in 500.
i'm just not doing it. it's ridiculous. and if the world wanted me to do the work as fully as my profs want me to, there'd be no such thing as sparknotes.
She couldn't even spell out the word professor fully. That's how uncommitted she is. Seriously though, I don't think anybody could read that book fully. Your would head fall off.
"your head fall off"? go back to high school, girly. tsk tsk can't even form a full sentence.
...?
but i love you, caressa. so i don't mind.
Ahhh thanks Daley. You are so sweet to me.
she gave me a hug for the first time. i was shocked and didn't really know what to do w/myself. it's a big shift in our relationship.
Haha whatever. Daley is very comfortable hugging. She is always jumping on me. The first few times it was disconcerting but I have gotten used to it.
i'm a hugger, what can i say. that's how i convince caressa to do stuff, like go to the gas station w/me at midnight to get oreos.
Its hard to have a destining opinion when the other person is holding on to your head.
i'm quite convincing. although i don't seem able to get caressa into rap. she's stubborn w/that one.
It's so hard to understand I know. I apologize for my lack of musical diversity.
no, no. it's alright. we can all have our differing opinions. personally, i think she's not into rap b/c she's never twerked before. the 2 kind of go hand in hand.
What the hell is twerked?
twerked, the act of twerking.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=twerk
you're welcome.
Yeah, I haven't ever done that. It doesn't seem comfortable.
clearly, you haven't lived. jk, it's all good, do or don't do as you like
Thank you Daley, I appreciate your commitment to individual freedoms.
you're welcome. i'm totally open to all beliefs and opinions. oh, exciting news - i've decided that i'm going to do the turkey trot at thanksgiving, which involved running 10k, or 6.2 miles. to make it easier, i've dragged caressa into getting fit w/me.
I have started by eating a salad for dinner but now I really really want some cookies. We don't have any cookies though. So life is terrible.
my dinner: a chocolate pudding cup with crushed oreos. it was fucking amazing. but health is important. tomorrow will be healthy eating.
Yes, tomorrow we will start running every day as well.
absolutely. it's cross country season right now, and i'm suffering a bit of depression not being part of that bhs fall cult this year. they've moved on.
It is all very sad. Poor Daley. Lets all have a moment of silence..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Thank you
she's making fun of me. here i am all distraught, and she's mocking me. bitch.
So mean.
yes, yes you are. glad you've accepted that.
In other news, as of this week, we can now enjoy The Office, Parks and Recreation, and SNL
even though awkward ending this past thursday, i am very excited about this. 3 very good shows that'll be around for a while. get pumped. especially for dwight.
And new Dwight. I personally am very interested to see whats next for Leslie Knope after being elected to city council? How can she top that?
eh, she's alright. april and andy: power couple.
i want caressa to make a gift for my boyfriend. it's a comical gift.
Its a condom.
she's so subtle. yeah. well it's funny. caressa enjoys knitting condoms. it's kind of her thing. as well as not doing her humanities hw. but that's something we have in common.
I have been doing Humanities slowly throughout the day. The Republic is so long, Socrates was a chatty one. Who need 700 pages to talk about the nature of justice? I could do it in 500.
i'm just not doing it. it's ridiculous. and if the world wanted me to do the work as fully as my profs want me to, there'd be no such thing as sparknotes.
She couldn't even spell out the word professor fully. That's how uncommitted she is. Seriously though, I don't think anybody could read that book fully. Your would head fall off.
"your head fall off"? go back to high school, girly. tsk tsk can't even form a full sentence.
...?
but i love you, caressa. so i don't mind.
Ahhh thanks Daley. You are so sweet to me.
she gave me a hug for the first time. i was shocked and didn't really know what to do w/myself. it's a big shift in our relationship.
Haha whatever. Daley is very comfortable hugging. She is always jumping on me. The first few times it was disconcerting but I have gotten used to it.
i'm a hugger, what can i say. that's how i convince caressa to do stuff, like go to the gas station w/me at midnight to get oreos.
Its hard to have a destining opinion when the other person is holding on to your head.
i'm quite convincing. although i don't seem able to get caressa into rap. she's stubborn w/that one.
It's so hard to understand I know. I apologize for my lack of musical diversity.
no, no. it's alright. we can all have our differing opinions. personally, i think she's not into rap b/c she's never twerked before. the 2 kind of go hand in hand.
What the hell is twerked?
twerked, the act of twerking.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=twerk
you're welcome.
Yeah, I haven't ever done that. It doesn't seem comfortable.
clearly, you haven't lived. jk, it's all good, do or don't do as you like
Thank you Daley, I appreciate your commitment to individual freedoms.
you're welcome. i'm totally open to all beliefs and opinions. oh, exciting news - i've decided that i'm going to do the turkey trot at thanksgiving, which involved running 10k, or 6.2 miles. to make it easier, i've dragged caressa into getting fit w/me.
I have started by eating a salad for dinner but now I really really want some cookies. We don't have any cookies though. So life is terrible.
my dinner: a chocolate pudding cup with crushed oreos. it was fucking amazing. but health is important. tomorrow will be healthy eating.
Yes, tomorrow we will start running every day as well.
absolutely. it's cross country season right now, and i'm suffering a bit of depression not being part of that bhs fall cult this year. they've moved on.
It is all very sad. Poor Daley. Lets all have a moment of silence..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Thank you
she's making fun of me. here i am all distraught, and she's mocking me. bitch.
So mean.
yes, yes you are. glad you've accepted that.
In other news, as of this week, we can now enjoy The Office, Parks and Recreation, and SNL
even though awkward ending this past thursday, i am very excited about this. 3 very good shows that'll be around for a while. get pumped. especially for dwight.
And new Dwight. I personally am very interested to see whats next for Leslie Knope after being elected to city council? How can she top that?
eh, she's alright. april and andy: power couple.
Friday, September 14, 2012
SEXOLOGY- it is mentioned in this post
so today is another weekend evening and we do not know what to do w/ourselves. so we've decided to blog. and for those of you who can't keep track, i'm daley, in green.
And I am Caressa in electric blue. I, for one, had a very full day. I went to work, made 35 cents in tips, went to a concert, saw a very large prey mantis, and went for a walk. Daley watched That 70s Show.
yeah. i got up at 11, ate some potato and leeks soup, showered, skyped the boy friend from far away and enjoyed the 90s remake of 6 fun loving teenagers growing up in the 70s. it was a very nice day. i wouldn't've done it any differently. jobs are for losers. and ppl who actually aren't rejected from every job they apply for.
There are some very excited people outside our dorm building.
a girl daring carleson (our hall) to "stuck her balls." and it's only 9. tsk tsk.
She is having a good time while we are in here, sitting in the dark sober, half heartedly trying to be funny while writing a blog post. And its already 9. tsk tsk
well caressa has to work tomorrow, so we can't go seeking crazy college adventure. and of course, i'm too scared to go alone. oh, a successful moment i had this week: got caressa interested in pinterest.
Successful moment I had this week: I got bored of Pinterest. Other success, we got to go hiking last sunday, finally.
pinterest is great, she just hasn't accepted it yet. and hiking was really fun. very...natural. and there was climbing involved which was lots of fun. also, yesterday a girl on our floor brought out all her astrology books (she's got about 4 textbook sized ones - she came to win). and i found out that a scorprio dating an aries (as i am) is very hopeful and will end well. so all you scorpio and aries couples out there, you got it in the bag. according to the sexology book, we're doing just fine.
You're safe another day Nate. Safe another day.
yes, i don't really put a lot in store by astrology. it might all be true, i don't really know. i know that the boy that makes me happy is the one i'm with. we happen to be perfect in the astrological world too, so that's just a bonus. so, on to other topics.
we ran into a guy on our floor today at shaw. a couple of his fingers were wrapped with medical tape, so i asked what happened. he looked at me, and told me that when a guy goes for so long w/out a gf, things get really rough. it was a joke. i am a bit embarrassed to say that i took him seriously.
The look on your face was priceless. I wouldn't have missed it for anything. A combination of shock and horror seldom seen in Shaw.
he actually just climbs a bit. who knew. so we've created a challenge for ourselves: accomplish doing 50 consecutive push-ups. deadline: thanksgiving.
It's very unlikely to happen for me. I record is currently six. I think Daley's is 16. Upper body strength is over rated any way. I can take out the trash, lift a gallon of milk, and brush my teeth. Why do I need to be stronger?
strength is key to happiness. breaking news: caressa wants to host an event. in our dorm. ideas?
It is to combat my tendency toward antisocialness. My ideas are:
- 1. Chess tournament
- 2. Premier party for the new season of the office
- 3. Presidential Premeir party (in november of course)
- 4. Quilting bee
hmm. we'll see. idk. i like to be social. but i don't like to work at being social. it's a slippery slope.
I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY
TO THANK HANNAH ROSE LEVINE
FOR SENDING ME TWO LOOFAS AND A PACK OF OREOS
VIA THE UNITED STATES POST OFFICE
THANK YOU
she's only a little bit of a kiss ass.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
And it Rained for Forty Days and Forty Nights
This is Caressa again. If you didn't understand the subtle title of this post, it has been raining a lot these past few days. Rain is especially important to the people of the Salt Lake Valley because it clears the air of forest fire smoke and the car exhaust that tends to settle over the valley.
i'm daley. i just like the thunder and rain b/c it makes me feel better about wearing a hoodie and old leggings in the early evening. such comfy weather.
It's the universes way of saying, "it's ok, have a brownie. Watch Pretty in Pink and then take a nap. Listen to the frantic knocking of the unfortunate soul stuck in the rain who can't get into the building without their I.D. card. Life is starting over again".
yep. so we bought a rug today. finally.
We purchased it from the D.I. for a grand total of $3. It's too small to cover all the red jello shot stains left by our predecessors but it adds a rustic charm to the room.
In other news, I finished Daley's hair wrap
it's pretty awesome, i must say. both the rug and the hair wrap. i really enjoy the d.i. as i don't feel guilty buying lots of clothes since it's all so cheap. and new clothes always makes a girl feel good.
On Wednesday Westminster hosted the "States Fair". There was a rather unsuccessful "kissin' booth", fried food, and games. We came at the later part of the event when the organizers of the event were trying rid themselves off all the crappy prizes they had left over. Daley and I each got a free chinese finger trap.
yes we did, as well as crappy frisbees.
Back to the story of the story of the chinese finger traps-Daley got her finger trapped. This event was followed by a high pitched exclamation of "oh my god...oh my god... OH MY GOD". In her panic she ripped the trap apart.
i've never encountered one before. so excuse me for being a bit panicked when i couldn't get my fingers out of that deadly contraption.
They are scary when used for the first time.
I would like to formally thank Alex Peterson for giving me a container full of spinach. We didn't eat any of it and it decomposed in an unsightly manner that made our dorm room smell of rotting organic matter.
i didn't even notice weirdly enough. but yes, the room's odor definitely has improved since it was discovered. oh, so something kind of strange - no one here knows about coney island diners, or has ever played the card game of euchre. i was flabbergasted after hearing this. they don't even know what they're missing.
We have diner style restaurants but nobody I know refers to them as "Coney Islands".
perhaps these will make suitable substitutes. we'll have to see.
Something interesting about the toilet in the girls restroom- when you flush, it spurts water violently from where the pipe meets the toilet. Every single time, without fail.
and today we had some visitors in our hall. one of these girls come out of the bathroom proclaiming "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT TOILET, IT JUST SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME?!?" we think that might've been a bit of an overreaction.
Screaming is the word I would use to describe her volume. She was very upset.
bitch didn't know what hit her
Waste water hit her
touche. but whatevs. she probably won't be back too soon. or she at least won't be using our facilities.
Me either. There several nice trees in the area that I will be using until the toilet is fixed.
not i. i'm a lady.
Daley uses an apple juice bottle
she doesn't stop lying. ever. she also just stated that my artwork is actually pretty good. thanks? she's so surprised that i could create something that doesn't suck.
Daley has an artist's soul.
yes i do. and no one can crush it.
Not even a dysfunctional toilet, a conniving chinese finger trap, nor liquefied spinach.
as you can see, we have some really big road blocks in our lives to overcome. but overcome them we shall.
i'm daley. i just like the thunder and rain b/c it makes me feel better about wearing a hoodie and old leggings in the early evening. such comfy weather.
It's the universes way of saying, "it's ok, have a brownie. Watch Pretty in Pink and then take a nap. Listen to the frantic knocking of the unfortunate soul stuck in the rain who can't get into the building without their I.D. card. Life is starting over again".
yep. so we bought a rug today. finally.
We purchased it from the D.I. for a grand total of $3. It's too small to cover all the red jello shot stains left by our predecessors but it adds a rustic charm to the room.
In other news, I finished Daley's hair wrap
it's pretty awesome, i must say. both the rug and the hair wrap. i really enjoy the d.i. as i don't feel guilty buying lots of clothes since it's all so cheap. and new clothes always makes a girl feel good.
On Wednesday Westminster hosted the "States Fair". There was a rather unsuccessful "kissin' booth", fried food, and games. We came at the later part of the event when the organizers of the event were trying rid themselves off all the crappy prizes they had left over. Daley and I each got a free chinese finger trap.
yes we did, as well as crappy frisbees.
Back to the story of the story of the chinese finger traps-Daley got her finger trapped. This event was followed by a high pitched exclamation of "oh my god...oh my god... OH MY GOD". In her panic she ripped the trap apart.
i've never encountered one before. so excuse me for being a bit panicked when i couldn't get my fingers out of that deadly contraption.
They are scary when used for the first time.
I would like to formally thank Alex Peterson for giving me a container full of spinach. We didn't eat any of it and it decomposed in an unsightly manner that made our dorm room smell of rotting organic matter.
i didn't even notice weirdly enough. but yes, the room's odor definitely has improved since it was discovered. oh, so something kind of strange - no one here knows about coney island diners, or has ever played the card game of euchre. i was flabbergasted after hearing this. they don't even know what they're missing.
We have diner style restaurants but nobody I know refers to them as "Coney Islands".
perhaps these will make suitable substitutes. we'll have to see.
Something interesting about the toilet in the girls restroom- when you flush, it spurts water violently from where the pipe meets the toilet. Every single time, without fail.
and today we had some visitors in our hall. one of these girls come out of the bathroom proclaiming "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT TOILET, IT JUST SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME?!?" we think that might've been a bit of an overreaction.
Screaming is the word I would use to describe her volume. She was very upset.
bitch didn't know what hit her
Waste water hit her
touche. but whatevs. she probably won't be back too soon. or she at least won't be using our facilities.
Me either. There several nice trees in the area that I will be using until the toilet is fixed.
not i. i'm a lady.
Daley uses an apple juice bottle
she doesn't stop lying. ever. she also just stated that my artwork is actually pretty good. thanks? she's so surprised that i could create something that doesn't suck.
Daley has an artist's soul.
yes i do. and no one can crush it.
Not even a dysfunctional toilet, a conniving chinese finger trap, nor liquefied spinach.
as you can see, we have some really big road blocks in our lives to overcome. but overcome them we shall.
Monday, August 27, 2012
no title to be agreed upon
so today is monday, our first official monday of classes. the weekend was nice and relaxing. neither of us seem to fit the description of partiers, so i think we'll probably have pretty chill nights. of course, i don't totally know this girl yet, so anything's possible.
what she doesn't know is that i have 3 ounces of cocaine in my purse. (this is still daley typing, as caressa's preoccupied making a hair wrap for me. so sorry about the lack of capitalizing and stuff.) we went to see city creek for the first time, and the pretentious lady behind the counter of godiva wouldn't give daley a godiva rewards card as she is still a baby - that bitch.
i was quite upset about that. but even more angry about the chocolate covered strawberries that were sitting out on trays everywhere yet for some reason, were NOT samples. rule of thumb: if i can just take it, and it's in a small quantity, it's a goddamn sample.
i agree. i would write a letter to godiva, but i'm afraid that they'd revoke my rewards card.
their salty caramel chocolate is very good though. idk about $5 good, but still good.
i would say it was $5 good. took daley to gateway, and it was amazing.
i got a really cool bag from an indian lady with a cart full of different stuff. although she didn't quite know how to make change, she was very very sweet and now i have one of the coolest bags i've ever possessed.
meanwhile, my bag from walmart is sitting next to daley's cool bag and looks quite sad. maybe i'll have to find a way to had fringe to it or something.
on a different note, i don't think the frosh 15 is going to be an issue, for 3 reasons:
1) it's so fucking hot in this state, 90 plus degrees everyday. every time i walk outside, i instantly start sweating. my men's degree deodorant is failing me time and again
2) we walk everywhere! and even though westminster campus is roughly the size of my high school, i'd say we rack up at least 3 miles everyday
3) i'm just too lazy to get to shaw 3 times a day for 3 full meals. most days consist of one or two, w/snacks from 304.
not to mention the stairs to our dorm room, and everywhere else. you can't go anywhere without encountering stairs. even our beds have stairs. my legs are so short, i can't jump up to the bed, so i must take the stairs.
caressa has a very short attention span.
i'm sorry, i was texting my mother. She misses me a lot.
she's a very sassy lady, that caressa. but i understand, my mother probably misses me too
even in college, we're under their wings. but maybe that's good.
my mother has extremely strong wings. you can say that, your mother's in michigan.
but we love them, correct?
not them, but our own. i don't know your mother very well. though she seems like a very nice lady.
perhaps we're straying away from the college theme.
i know, we should be doing this when we're high. that'd be true college. this being blogging and putting ribbon in incredibly long hair.
too true.
yesterday i went with allie to smiths to buy a toaster. it was an extremely successful trip. success being determined by the fact that we did indeed get a toaster. i also came back with tortillas and dr. pepper which i received specific instructions from daley not to eat until i got back to the dorms. what she apparently didn't know was that i wasn't planning on eating raw tortillas and dr. pepper alone at 9 o'clock at night. didn't seem too appetizing to me.
i was concerned that she was just mocking me and gloating about her great food and beverage finds.
why would i tell you that i got tortillas and dr. pepper and then consume them by myself? and after we discussed how much we both liked dr. pepper?
just cuz you like to see me upset
when i got back, i processed to open the dr. pepper over daley's desk - and it exploded, sending drops of sugar water everywhere. some of this water still stuck to the safety goggles that we are collectively sharing for chemistry. it is very difficult to see if a reaction is chemical or physical when you're blinded by dr. pepper.
and now the back of my plato and socrates book is all sticky.
doesn't matter, you're not reading it.
i work best under pressure. i'm not going to do an assignment well before the due date. that's just dumb.
my experience is that it's best to do things when you know you have time to do them.
i've got plenty of time. it's just some reading and a 2 page prompt. i'll get it done.
so, yup. i don't know what else to say. i'm trying to focus on this hair wrap.
i spose we're done.
last comment.
Friday, August 24, 2012
My name is Caressa.
i'm daley.
And we just met a week ago.
this is true.
We are room mates attending a small liberal arts college in Salt Lake.
we live on the third floor. 6 fucking flights of stairs everyday. multiple times.
I, personally, am in fantastic shape and so do not mind the 6 fucking flights of stairs.
we walked downtown for 5 hours yesterday. i thought i was going to pass out after 2.
So here is everything (worth mentioning) that has happened since August 16th, when we moved in and met for the first time.
1. Daley mixed up Donny Osmond and the Donner Party.
2. caressa wakes up most days w/a huge ass fro.
3. Daley almost urinated in her pants when she saw East High and was told it was the location of High School Musical.
4. caressa's a liar about that one. also, i found out that she's strangely attracted to a mid-twenties stalin, and finds his hair "fantastic".
5. Daley is a mouth breather.
6. it takes caressa an hour of preparation before she finds herself fit to go anywhere.
7. Daley's boyfriend is slightly anti-simetic
8. again, a lie. he just has slightly off color jokes about the jews of the world - still very funny. i am sometimes genuinely concerned for caressa when i wake up and she is folded in on herself.
9. Daley has yet to see a single seagull in the Beehive State
10. the state bird's a seagull, i want to see a fucking seagull!!!! also, i'm not from here. michigan actually.
11. We went slack lining in Sugar House Park for about ten minutes.
12. i try to introduce new things to her, and she just won't have it.
13. Since her arrival, Daley's diet has become more carb intensive. She started off eating nothing but bananas and Cliff Bars and this morning she had a heaping plate of french toast sticks and tater tots. YUM!
14. i'm ignoring that one, completely false. i have been introduced to jazz by my roomie, and find it strangely relaxing.
15. My room mate has grown to understand the melodic tones of post 8:00 pm KUER.
16. caressa finds my shoes very different from the societal norm. they're birkenstocks.
17. I'm currently wearing Daley's pants. I offered to be her thigh double on Skype to thank her for letting me wear them but she didn't seem to excited about that.
18. yet again, a lie. caressa was just amped up about the opportunity to mess with my friends who i was skyping. she later tried to convince them she was mormon, just so they would feel poorly about making fun of the mormon way of life.
19. There is only one way to live life, and that is the mormon way. If you're not actually LDS, you just gotta fake it sometimes.
20. meanwhile she's an atheist.
21. We got a fridget (a midget fridge) today. We were going to go to the store (I have to buy the "first milk") but Daley couldn't find the bike collective and we became overheated.
22. caressa's got 2 tattoos. i was shocked, as she's such a polite, reserved girl. after getting to know her, however, it fits her character perfectly.
23. Daley finds my colorful vocabulary "humanizing". Also, she hates getting up early to perform volunteer work. "Bullshit" was how she put it.
24. it was bullshit.
25. For the record, I also find early mornings to be comparable to bovine feces.
26. caressa had to explain east and west to me, by referencing "the big mountains and the small mountains". it all makes sense now.
27. She is still getting the hang of north and south
28. caressa sucks at shaving her legs apparently. and since we don't own bandaids, she tapes tissues to her legs. very clever of her.
29. Daley sheds so she doesn't have to shave.
30. compulsive liar 100%. caressa didn't bring a swimsuit or exercise shorts to college. so ill prepared.
We could continue all day about who brought/didn't bring what, who has the stranger sleep habits, and who has chosen a racist significant other.
but we shan't. since i'd win.
and I hate losing.
On a different track, we are both vegetarian environmental science majors who wear the same size athletic shorts. We do have some harmony.
hopefully, the saying about opposites attract is incorrect, since we are quite similar. if that is the truth, one of us will be dead by halloween.
We are now taking submissions for best costume idea for Halloween. We are too uncreative to think of any ourselves.
the only costume that comes to mind is tom cruise, risky business. the scene with him in a button down, socks, sunglasses and nothing else. probably not the best idea. but perhaps at a school that hands out condoms at every function, it wouldn't be too far off the mark. i'll pass all of those over to caressa.
I think we should save all the condoms, make one giant one and wear it for Halloween
so...she's a freak
It was a joke. Daley does not understand my humor sometimes.
i'm just too moronic to understand all of her intellectual wittiness. duh
We have decided, mutually, that this is the conclusion to our first blog post.
switching colors back and forth is getting a bit tedious. so we're done with that for now.
i'm daley.
And we just met a week ago.
this is true.
We are room mates attending a small liberal arts college in Salt Lake.
we live on the third floor. 6 fucking flights of stairs everyday. multiple times.
I, personally, am in fantastic shape and so do not mind the 6 fucking flights of stairs.
we walked downtown for 5 hours yesterday. i thought i was going to pass out after 2.
So here is everything (worth mentioning) that has happened since August 16th, when we moved in and met for the first time.
1. Daley mixed up Donny Osmond and the Donner Party.
2. caressa wakes up most days w/a huge ass fro.
3. Daley almost urinated in her pants when she saw East High and was told it was the location of High School Musical.
4. caressa's a liar about that one. also, i found out that she's strangely attracted to a mid-twenties stalin, and finds his hair "fantastic".
5. Daley is a mouth breather.
6. it takes caressa an hour of preparation before she finds herself fit to go anywhere.
7. Daley's boyfriend is slightly anti-simetic
8. again, a lie. he just has slightly off color jokes about the jews of the world - still very funny. i am sometimes genuinely concerned for caressa when i wake up and she is folded in on herself.
9. Daley has yet to see a single seagull in the Beehive State
10. the state bird's a seagull, i want to see a fucking seagull!!!! also, i'm not from here. michigan actually.
11. We went slack lining in Sugar House Park for about ten minutes.
12. i try to introduce new things to her, and she just won't have it.
13. Since her arrival, Daley's diet has become more carb intensive. She started off eating nothing but bananas and Cliff Bars and this morning she had a heaping plate of french toast sticks and tater tots. YUM!
14. i'm ignoring that one, completely false. i have been introduced to jazz by my roomie, and find it strangely relaxing.
15. My room mate has grown to understand the melodic tones of post 8:00 pm KUER.
16. caressa finds my shoes very different from the societal norm. they're birkenstocks.
17. I'm currently wearing Daley's pants. I offered to be her thigh double on Skype to thank her for letting me wear them but she didn't seem to excited about that.
18. yet again, a lie. caressa was just amped up about the opportunity to mess with my friends who i was skyping. she later tried to convince them she was mormon, just so they would feel poorly about making fun of the mormon way of life.
19. There is only one way to live life, and that is the mormon way. If you're not actually LDS, you just gotta fake it sometimes.
20. meanwhile she's an atheist.
21. We got a fridget (a midget fridge) today. We were going to go to the store (I have to buy the "first milk") but Daley couldn't find the bike collective and we became overheated.
22. caressa's got 2 tattoos. i was shocked, as she's such a polite, reserved girl. after getting to know her, however, it fits her character perfectly.
23. Daley finds my colorful vocabulary "humanizing". Also, she hates getting up early to perform volunteer work. "Bullshit" was how she put it.
24. it was bullshit.
25. For the record, I also find early mornings to be comparable to bovine feces.
26. caressa had to explain east and west to me, by referencing "the big mountains and the small mountains". it all makes sense now.
27. She is still getting the hang of north and south
28. caressa sucks at shaving her legs apparently. and since we don't own bandaids, she tapes tissues to her legs. very clever of her.
29. Daley sheds so she doesn't have to shave.
30. compulsive liar 100%. caressa didn't bring a swimsuit or exercise shorts to college. so ill prepared.
We could continue all day about who brought/didn't bring what, who has the stranger sleep habits, and who has chosen a racist significant other.
but we shan't. since i'd win.
and I hate losing.
On a different track, we are both vegetarian environmental science majors who wear the same size athletic shorts. We do have some harmony.
hopefully, the saying about opposites attract is incorrect, since we are quite similar. if that is the truth, one of us will be dead by halloween.
We are now taking submissions for best costume idea for Halloween. We are too uncreative to think of any ourselves.
the only costume that comes to mind is tom cruise, risky business. the scene with him in a button down, socks, sunglasses and nothing else. probably not the best idea. but perhaps at a school that hands out condoms at every function, it wouldn't be too far off the mark. i'll pass all of those over to caressa.
I think we should save all the condoms, make one giant one and wear it for Halloween
so...she's a freak
It was a joke. Daley does not understand my humor sometimes.
i'm just too moronic to understand all of her intellectual wittiness. duh
We have decided, mutually, that this is the conclusion to our first blog post.
switching colors back and forth is getting a bit tedious. so we're done with that for now.
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